Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

Hair, what is it good for? Samson, Absalom, Mary Magdalene, Rapunzel, Goldilocks and other mythical characters found it useful. But, for the most part, it’s a breeding ground for germs, vermin and foul odors.

Hair - or the lack of it - can signify wisdom, mourning, celebration, shame, pride and lust. Prudish societies forbid women to expose hair in public. Hair configurations can also broadcasts aggression and apathy, high buns are obnoxious in theater settings and we all know that the higher the pony tail, the higher the annoyance.

Hair doesn’t care about what’s on the other side of your scalp, I’ve heard it grows even after death. Human evolution rendered hair unessential long ago. It is a vestige of the past that comes in textures determined by the shape of its section: round is straight, oval is wavy, and rectangle is curly. Each type evolved for a specific climate. It’s nothing more than that, one type is no better than the other.

Excessive grooming is a poor substitute for daydreaming; combing hair has never led to eureka moments. So why not cut to suit, keep it clean and leave it to be admired for what it is? Why waste such an enormous amount of time and money torturing it with chemicals to evoke racial aspirations? Aside from the pleasure that comes with the touching and fussing of the stylist, the business is a colossal grift that reaps billions for cosmetic enterprises, most of which are run by bald men.