Ping Pong Utopia
Ping-Pong is the name of the greatest game in the world. The onomatopoetic eloquence descended from wiff-waff, the sound of parchment paddles in 1882. When Nixon met Mao 100 years later, the sound had gone from wood to rubber and a padap-padap sound. Luckily, Padap-Padap diplomacy sounded awkward.
In 1920, long after the name Ping-Pong was already in popular use, Parker Brothers bought it. Establishments avoided paying royalties by coming up with a variety of paronomasias such as King Pong, Paddle Pong, Ball Ping and so on. Some even assumed it was named after a Chinese person. Nonetheless, the games’ official body calls it Table Tennis as a pretense to Wimbledon…before the crude, rude and lewd.
The whole world plays Ping-Pong. Currently, the dominant players are Chinese…it’s a source of national pride. As well, it is the great equalizer, it embodies the essence of democracy wherein anyone can compete with anyone regardless of age, sex, class, size or physical handicap.
Ping-pong culture in the USA numbers 20 million. That’s a lot of tables – even with half folded-up, or used to fold laundry. In the space of a pool table, Ping Pong burns more calories than any other sport, and without risk to life or limb. There is no violence except the occasional displays of paddle breaking when it cannot keep pace with the passions…hot sweaty and sexual.
There is nothing more alluring than Ping-Pong in high heels. Take a date to Spin, the upscale club on East 23rd on Friday night. The more serious Westchester Table Tennis Center, owned by puzzle-master Will Shortz, of the NY Times (47 minutes from Grand Central and a short walk from the Pleasantville Station). Opening times correspond to after-school hours. The market for early-risers, seniors, and off-peak commuters, remains untapped. Bring a partner at your level.
Godin’s utopian Familistere is my idea of a Ping-Pong paradise. The central atrium filled with the sound of ping-pong might’ve saved it from extinction. The Department of Parks should take note and install more tables at their Recreational Centers. The few that exist are always occupied. In addition to a great work-out, Ping-Pong is a green, affordable, indoor activity; not a cause of consternation to the neighbors.